Happiness
by AReadingRat
Summary: AU after 501/502 - Years after the Blood War, Byakuya contemplates on what has changed in his life.


**AN:** This fanfiction was written shortly after the release of chapter 501, but I left it lying around for a week to find some mistakes and so it disregards the happenings of chapter 502. It is written for two reasons:

1) To give some support to the loyal Byakuya-fans and to remind them – even if Byakuya dies – we are still going to write fanfiction involving him because we still love him.

2)I needed to get this off my chest and have some happy ending.

So, this is an AU. It is a fix fic. And it is Shonen-Ai/Yaoi/BL/Slash – whatever you call two guys being in love.

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**Happiness**

_There was only pain, white, blinding pain. It hurt to breathe, to move, to simply lie on the ground. He tasted blood in his mouth and as he coughed he nearly blackened out. _

_Suddenly there was a cry above him – a shout and he felt pressed to the ground. It was a familiar pressure. But was that . . . Renji? _

_His thoughts were incoherent and the only thing he knew for sure was he was about to die. The pain slowly began to subside as his body grew colder. It did not seem too difficult now - dying . . . maybe he was able to see Hisana . . . _

_Suddenly he heard another voice beside him, soft and pleading. It sounded just like – no, not Hisana. This was Rukia . . . _

_Something warm began to form around his chest. It held the cold of, just for a while. It was nice. _

_He tried to open his eyes to see what it was. For a short moment he was able to. He saw Rukia, kneeling beside him, face wet with tears, but determinedly holding up the soft orange glowing healing spell. Above the two of them he could see the one, who cut him down. He was bleeding profoundly, but still managed to fight. But his eyes were drawn to somebody else. His Shihakusho was fluttering around while his figure was enveloped in a blinding mix of red and white light. The sword in his hand was bloodied. The red mane was flowing in the wind, unrestrained. It was like seeing a wild animal, angry and ready to attack, not caring about anything else than to kill. This was the last thing he saw before he closed his eyes and darkness claimed him. Relieved washed over him as he realised the last thing he had seen had been Renji._

Byakuya wakes up with a start. It has been a long time since he has dreamed of the Blood War. He sits up in his bed and with a slightly shaky hand brushes his hair back behind his ear. Looking around he realises he is alone in his bedroom. For a moment he is confused, but then he remembers what day it is. It is the anniversary of the Blood War. So - of course - he would not be able to sleep peacefully.

As he begins to dress himself he looks out of the window and sees it is raining. Not heavily, but it is drizzling. How fitting, he thinks and a moment later berates himself for being cynical. There is a high chance of rain in spring and he should not have thought the weather is trying to match the mood of the day. He takes an umbrella, but pauses for a moment, his gaze lingering on another one. He decides against taking the second one with him though.

Byakuya steps out on the porch. He is walking slowly, taking his time. His eyes wander over the garden. In his mind he makes a list of things he needs to do. The lilies need to be cut back a little and right now is also a good time to plant some herbs. The kitchen staff had spoken about needing a bigger herb garden and Byakuya is looking forward to create something useful instead of something pretty. He also needs to speak with the clan council about the extension of the herb garden. There are also other matters, which he needs to bring up at the next council meeting. For example there is the wedding of Rurichiyo and Shu. The Kuchiki clan is required to show acknowledgement of the lower clan's wedding. The question is what kind of present is to be given. When he had got married, he had been given the finest sheets of paper in a well-made, wooden box by Rurichiyo Kasumiōji. While it looks certainly like a well-crafted piece, Byakuya thinks his husband might have done it better. But that is beside the point and he knows, so he does not mention it to neither Rurichiyo Kasumiōji – who would be insulted – nor his spouse – who would probably try and prove his significant other right.

With a small smile he remembers the wedding ceremony. It had been a beautiful spring day at first and the sun had been shining for the afternoon. Only in the evening it had begun to pour, but they had danced in the rain and got wet to the bone. He remembers laughter and the joyfulness of that evening. It had taken not only his mind away from the death, destruction and rebuilding of the Soul Society, but also the people's minds. This type of merriment had been needed desperately three month after the end of the Blood War with its many losses.

Byakuya steps out from the porch and crosses the lawn, before slipping through a small gate, watched over by two guardsmen. He responds to their greetings with a nod, but his mind is elsewhere. Whenever he remembers the Blood War, he feels himself tense up. He does not recall a lot of it for which he is glad for. In the end, he cannot even recall the battle – or attack? – itself. He is relieved about that because whenever his husband remembers, he gets a distanced look, Byakuya hates. The only time when he remembers more clearly is in his dreams. But then again, only his recollection of lying on the ground is more clearly in dreams, not the actual attack. Sometimes, Byakuya also recalls waking up in the fourth division and Orihime Inoue leaning above, but that is one of the vaguer memories he has and he is not even sure, if his minds makes it up from the things he has been told. What he remembers is waking up in a hospital room though. Renji had been there, anxiousness and sadness written in his features, just like an open book. But when he had realised, Byakuya was awake, he had smiled and taken the noble's hand into his own, giving it a kiss. Then he had been told to rest and get well. Byakuya had fallen asleep again.

The noble walks down the still empty streets of Seritei, his pace steady, but even now not fast. Rain is falling around him and the streets he crosses and walks through are muddy. He steps around a corner and across the street he can see entrance to the shrine, built in remembrance of the fallen in the Blood War. On his way in he gives the priest a court nod and a slight bow. The priest gives him a smile in return and gestures to the gardens. Again the noble nods and heads in the direction.

It does not take him long to find what he came here for. The tall man stands in front of the memorial, flowers already laid down before it. He wears a Shihakusho, which is soaked through just like the red mane and the Haori, showing the number six. Byakuya steps forward, nearly silently and hugs the man from behind, while holding the umbrella above the two of them.

He inhales deeply and closes his eyes, relaxing against the other man's back.

For a moment they stay like this until Renji turns around in Byakuya's arms. There is sadness and grief in the redhead's face, but his smile at the sight of his husband makes it vanish for a short moment.

"I hoped I hadn't woken you up", Renji says, his arm around Byakuya's shoulders.

Byakuya shakes his head softly: "No, I did not sleep well. Obviously you also did not. And since I know what today is, I knew where to find you."

Renji nods and his finger brushes softly over a fine scar on Byakuya's neck. It is only one of the many he has, even after Orihime Inoue healed him. She had not been able to heal every wound since there had been countless of cuts, but she had managed to save him. Since he does not mind the scars, it has been enough for him. Still, sometimes he feels it has not been enough for Renji, who at first had taken a habit of tracing every scar whenever he could see them with a sad look in his eyes. Nowadays the redhead only traces the scars when he is thinking about the Blood War – like now.

Byakuya closes his eyes and enjoys his husband's light touch. Even though getting better after the war had taken him a long time, he had never been alone. Either Rukia or Renji had been around, even after he had been release from the fourth division and gone home. They still had been with him, when he was again more or less able to fulfil his role of a clan leader. While Rukia's and his relationship had not developed much compared to his relationship with Renji, they had become even closer. With Renji though it had been an entire different matter – while they only had argued a lot at first, Byakuya had been surprised as at the end of one of those arguments Renji admitted he was worried about his captain with whom he was in love with. Suddenly everything had made sense, fallen into place, and a month later they married because the war showed them how little time there could be.

Renji pulls him out of his memories by placing a soft kiss on his forehead: "I should get going. The division . . ."

"Do not worry about them. I doubt very many will be working today and even if you were the only one, who slacked, the Soutaicho surely would not mind. Come back to the mansion with me and have breakfast," Byakuya interrupts him gently and slowly begins to untangle himself from the embrace. Renji stands still, obviously debating with himself whether to take the noble onto the offer or not. Byakuya gives him a nudge before he says: "Come, leave the division for the morning. I am sure they won't mind."

"I'm sure they will mind," Renji replies absent-mindedly.

"It is seven o'clock in the morning, Renji. You have one and a half hour to have breakfast. And don't tell me you have to do any paperwork. I know better. There will be none until nine a.m.," Byakuya says.

A flash of obvious pain crosses the redhead's face as Byakuya mentions his former captaincy. With annoyance Byakuya manages to suppress a sigh. He had chosen to leave the Gotei 13 after it being unclear whether he would be able to recover at all. While Orihime Inoue had been able to heal his physical wounds, there had been the question of his Bankai. Even though they had regained the medallion, it had taken the twelve division time to understand it and release the hold it held on Senbonzakura. On top of that the noble had been gravely injured and with a foreseeable long while not even sure full recovery, there had been only one choice. Luckily, he now is able to use his Bankai again and has recovered his ability to fight. Still, back then it had been the right choice to leave the Gotei 13 and to give his captaincy to Renji. It had been a hard decision and it had caused their more heated disputes during the first two month after the Blood War. He had talked about his decision with the redhead more than once.

And even now it looks like Renji still feels guilty for 'taking away the sixth division from me', Byakuya thinks. He is still very able to recall the phrasing of the redhead and also sees the other one's face in his mind with his eyebrows drawn in, anger visible and also fear for the raven-haired and for the division.

Byakuya sighs and leans forward. He draws Renji closer before he kisses him, short and reassuring. He decides to speak, when auburn eyes are focused on him: "Renji, do not worry about me not being captain. I am happy with just being clan head. I can fully focus on that duty and I have more time for my husband, my sister, the gardens and the archive. Besides, the sixth division is still in the clan's hand with you being captain and my husband, so the council and clan members are satisfied. Do not be sad, whenever I mention having been captain of the sixth. Of course, I miss some things, but I have gained more by not being a captain."

"What do you miss, Byakuya?"

For a moment all the raven-haired wants to do is bang his head against a wall. All the positive aspects got lost on Renji and he - of course - latched onto the negative one. Well, then again, maybe he just wants to bang his husband's head against the wall. Therefore, with a sigh of exasperation, Byakuya answers: "Breakfast, lunch and tea with you. So, will you have breakfast with me now?"

He is pulled into a crushing hug by the redhead and hears the other one's soft laughter. Then he is given a long kiss, which grows more passionate by the moment. Only when they start to get wet as the umbrella nearly falls out of the noble's hand, they break apart, panting slightly.

"Okay, breakfast it is then," Renji says and puts one arm around Byakuya's waist. Arm in arm they begin to walk back to the mansion, chatting softly.

Later after they have eaten breakfast and Renji has left for the sixth division, Byakuya still sits at the breakfast table and thinks about what he has said. It is true. He is happy. It is not perfect of course, but he is happy in this relationship, this life and with his duties. For once, he feels perfectly balanced between his private life and his duties as a clan leader. He has time to do things he likes and has not been able to do as a clan leader and captain with his long working hours. Sometimes, he wishes he still would be captain, wishes for the thrill of battle, watching the sparring matches of the recruits and sometimes he even wishes for his old office, which is now Renji's. But then again, Renji is a good captain and Byakuya is sure, he never would have trusted anyone else with leading the sixth division.

With a smile he stands up from the table and leaves for the Council meeting. He will take a detour through the archives because he still needs to put back the diary of his great-grand-uncle, which proved to be a very interesting read. Rukia rushes past him, giving him a short bow and a hurried explanation before leaving for her squad and he cannot help but smile wider as she rushes by. With him still being captain, he would have never seen his little sister, trying to put on her Shihakusho over a Chappy-pyjama's while running so she would not be late for work. With him still being captain, he would also have been unable to have an equal relationship with Renji because there would have been situation requiring the redhead to follow his orders. So, even though the dreams sometimes plague him or he wishes to be captain again, he does not want to change anything in his life because for once he finds himself happy.

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**AN**: I took some inspiration from Michael Carpenter's fate from the Dresden Files, which is a fantastic series.

I am also sorry for any mistakes I made. English is not my mother tongue. This is also the first fanfiction I put on the net, so – again - sorry for any mistakes.


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